Pacifier Problems Solved

Lately, I’ve gotten lots of questions about pacifiers and have worked with several clients with children who are wanting to say goodbye to pacifiers. For some infants and children, a sleep association with pacifiers creates frequent wake-ups and short naps. Often, Doctors, Dentists, and Speech Therapists encourage parents to kick the habit for the sake of teeth and jaw health.

However, it’s often easier said than done to break a deeply engrained pacifier habit without protest. Today, I’d like to offer information and tips for infants so that you can avoid pacifier problems with your children and help them get the healthy independent sleep they are needing.

Pacifiers can be GREAT for Newborn and Infant Sleep:

• They help very young babies to calm down if they are overtired/overstimulated before nap or bedtime.
• Additionally, pacifiers may help extend a short nap – if your infant wakes after 45 minutes you can “shhhh” and use the paci to get them to sleep for another hour.
• Same goes for night wakings, if you know they are not hungry, just needing some reassurance, you can help get your newborn or infant back to sleep with a song and a pacifier instead of offering them a feeding.

Pacifiers are not so great:

• If you are working on establishing solid breastfeeding relationship. Pacifiers may “confuse” a baby learning to suck from the breast and may also lead a newborn to eat less than they need.
• After 6 months of age it can become a sleep prop, meaning kiddos cannot sleep without them, causing night wakings, short naps, and lots of protest.
• Outside the crib – parents use them to quiet babies anytime, anywhere, which may inhibit language development and affect a child’s sinus, dental and jaw health.

Many of my toddler parents are terrified to get rid of the pacifier – kids get SO upset when they are taken away! But they seem to need them everywhere: in car, at school, while, shopping, even taking them out for meals can be problematic. If you’re sick of the tantrums (and your dentists warnings) surrounding the pacifier, you CAN get rid of them, mindfully.

It’s not easy, but our Mindful Parenting process has worked for many of my skeptical clients:

1. Plan ahead – set a date on the calendar and collect some prizes, sugar free mints or xylitol candy (try spry or ice chips), and a fun new water bottle.
2. On the date, round up all the pacifiers – except for one – and make them disappear. Make it fun and silly, by having your child help you package them up and “mail them to some babies” who need them. Or let the “pacifier fairy” exchange them for a new water bottle overnight.
3. Explain that “You’re a big kid now and you are learning new ways to feel cozy and secure. Now you can ask for hugs, snuggles, or you can drink from your special new water bottle any time you are needing some comfort, calm and connection.”
4. After your kiddo goes to bed on THE night, cut a slice in their ONE REMAINING pacifier so that it doesn’t “work” anymore. Encourage them to throw it away in time, but don’t pressure.
5. Notice anytime they are needing help calming or asking for their pacifier, you can redirect them to the new soothing tools (water bottle or snuggling a loved one or a lovey) they are developing.
6. Give stickers or prizes throughout the day as a reward for being “cooperative and independent” with the new expectations. This is a temporary extrinsic reward that you’ll not need after a few days or a week as their intrinsic rewards of independence and deep listening become more powerful.

If you have tried all of these things and it only led to weeks of stress and sleeplessness please contact me for a 30-minute consultation so I can help you understand the root of the problem and create a plan to overcome it in a few short days.