Self-Care as Fire + Purpose

I was recently at a women’s gathering in town and the theme for our meeting was fire. We explored the fire element in its various forms (i.e. ember, spark, flame, campfire, etc.) and how we might use fire as a metaphor to describe the passion, intention, or sense of purpose we have in our own lives.

One woman spoke of feeling unclear about her fire at this time. Soon to retire from a long and fruitful career, she is not sure what is next. She is tired and “burnt out”, not feeling in touch with a fire of purpose or meaning for her life.

As a Holistic Health and Ayurvedic Lifestyle Coach for women, I was struck in that moment with the thought, “Maybe her current fire is about self care and replenishing herself after giving so much to others”.

Have you ever considered your self care to be something that you can become passionate about, something that lights your fire, or is actually a powerful sense of purpose and meaning in your life?

On my own personal journey, I have come to feel incredibly passionate about my self care practices. With the guidance of Ayurveda, I have learned to experience my daily and seasonal wellness habits as sacred practices … sacred because they feel in alignment with the fire of devotion to my wellbeing, which in turn, makes it possible for me to be of service to my community.

So if you are feeling disconnected from your own fire and uncertain about your sense of purpose, I invite you to start with self care. You may just fall in love with it, as I have and discover deep meaning through nurturing your wellbeing. It may be the foundational step that is needed before the next phase of your greater fire and purpose are ready to emerge.

If I were to offer two suggestions on how to get started with your attention to self care, this is what comes to mind.

1) In a moment when you don’t feel good, either physically or mentally/emotionally, develop the habit of being curious about which of your basic needs is asking to be met. Ayurveda has taught me to start with basic needs when it comes to my wellness. I have found that they are often at the root of my discontent. Once I tend to them, I typically return to balance.

• Rest – An example might be tucking yourself in early for bed instead of overriding your fatigue to accomplish more.

• Nourishment – An example might be prioritizing a meal prepared with love and eaten with gratitude.

• Connection – An example might be asking a loved one for a hug or calling a friend if you need connection with others. Or an example might be journaling, doing mindfulness meditation, or gently massaging your body with your own hands for loving touch if you need to connect with yourself.

Bringing a nurturing quality to this habit of identifying and meeting your basic needs adds a sweet and compassion touch to the experience. So a question you could ask yourself is: How can I best nurture myself right now?

2) Recognize that you have a unique constitution and a unique set of life circumstances that is influencing your state of being. Ayurveda is not a one-size-fits-all approach to wellness and invites us to get to know our individual needs for wellness. This has been so helpful for me on my healing journey because it’s given me a framework for self awareness, self discovery, and it’s empowered me to listen more deeply to my intuition about what may be uniquely best for me.

If you want to learn more about Ayurveda’s perspective on different constitutions and lifestyle + diet recommendations for each, you can take this online quiz from Banyan Botanicals, one of my favorite Ayurveda resources. If you have any questions about what you find, please feel free to reach out to me: abbie@abbiesilverswellness.com

Abbie Silvers is a Holistic Health and Ayurvedic Lifestyle Coach for women who lives in Modesto, CA with her husband and two young kids. She offers group programs and 1:1 coaching to help overwhelmed women thrive with ease and freedom. You can learn more about how she helps women at Abbie Silvers Wellness.